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Southrons: True Americana
by Derrick Stoff
5 August 2008
Did it ever occur to you, kind reader, that in the course of history no group of people has had more to do with the foundation of this nation than Southrons? Our culture has been the starting point by which all of those tender nostalgic memories of "Down Home" come from. Each part of our culture is unique to any other on this green earth, from our clothing, to our foods, to our music, to even our wildlife. Where else can you sample the delicacies of "Gator Meat," as we call it where I'm from in Florida, and taste the fine Southron delicacy that is home-made ice tea and lemonade! We provide much of the food that keeps this great nation alive, such as our beautiful corn and watermelon, which have become stables of American culture, and have been staples of Southron culture for years!
And ya'll remember those cowboy hats you always see people wearing? Well, I'm sure all of our readers know the Stetson name, the makers of those great hats. These hats go back to just a few months after the War for Southron Independence in 1865. Even though Stetson was from New Jersey, he helped to shape what would become a staple of Southron history as well as a staple of American History as well, and what has become a fixture in popular music. 
What about music? Well, the South is responsible for the blues, baby! The cool stylings of the likes of Muddy Waters and B.B. King, both Mississippi-born Southrons who revolutionized the music of a nation. Then we have country music. Such men as Gene Autry and Eddie Arnold, and more contemporary singers like Garth Brooks and Josh Turner, have all come to bring the Southron sound to the masses! Nowadays, country music is a hot topic, and more and more people are tuning in. Oh, and I'm sure ya'll have heard of the Grand Ol' Opry? Well that radio show's been hitting the airways since 1925 and is still going strong!
We also have our deep-rooted Southron rock! With the likes of the Allman Brothers band, Alabama, Lynard Skynard, and others, Southron love and culture has spread to the masses!
What about our food? I'm sure many of you remember those crystal-clear mornings with Granddaddy, who’s been up since about five, making those great buttermilk biscuits and sawmill gravy, Cooking eggs and ham and sausage, so we can sit down and have a nice chat over breakfast. We never called the last meal of the day "dinner.” We used the good term, "supper." Down in Florida, we always had some type of fruit with breakfast, such as a beautifully ripened Florida orange or something of that nature. Down on the coastline, we sometimes had a low-country broil, with all the juicy shrimp and corn and potatoes you can eat. We have our good jambalaya and gumbo, and our collard Greens and catfish, most of which is known by northerners as "Soul Food."
I hope I have either whetted your appetite or given at least a hint of insight into the great Southron culture. So the next time you see a Southron, thank him for helping create the great country you live in, and thank him for the chicken too!
About the Author
Derrick Stoff is obviously a Fire Eater. Enough said.
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